We are deep into the second quarter, and expectations are high to produce. Whether your goals are self-imposed, created by clients, or derived from leader and business needs, this is the month to get stuff done. We’ve emerged through the last months of winter and slogged through spring, and it seems like we have 31 days in May to reach some milestones before school is out and vacation season begins. So, let’s do this!
But hang on…. this is also an ideal time to take a deep breath, prepare, and stake stock of your mental state before moving too far, too fast. I’ve worked with many leaders and leadership teams to build personal and team resilience; an important skill to have when expectations are high, demands and plenty and winds of change threaten to disrupt us along the way. But this time, I got to approach resiliency from a more personal point of view.
I was asked by a client to lead a workshop on building personal resiliency during times of chaos and change as a part of its well-being workshop series. To prepare for this, I started with what I know about change theory and added in new information about what’s needed to thrive (or simply stay afloat) when things are busy and change keeps coming.
For this class, I focused less on leadership and more on us and individuals working through change. Here are some highlights that you might appreciate as you work through the challenges that May might bring to you. Spending a little time on self-care will, not only hope you out perform in May, but also prepare you to take your vacation with peace of mind.
Here’s are three areas of focus and associated tips for building resiliency as you navigate change:
MOOD: Life is an elevator, pick your floor.
Larry Senn in his popular book Up The Mood Elevator: Your Guide to Success Without Stress introduce the concept of the mood elevator. As you can see, the lower we are in the elevator, the worse our mood is.
Think of being in the basement in a high rise with a glass elevator. Even with the window in front of you, you cannot see because the basement is dark, and if you could see, you would only see cement block or a drab wall. Once the elevator moves up and more light comes in, our perspective changes. If you’ve ever ridden up the elevator in the Theater Parking garage in Pittsburgh, for example, you know that the higher you go, the more you can appreciate the sights and lights of the theater district and Pittsburgh’s gorgeous cityscape.
This is a vivid metaphor for living our lives. The key as you can see is getting yourself to curious. If you can choose curiosity, you can free your mind of the negative feelings and start to open you mind to what’s possible, which then can inspire higher mood states like patient, innovative and even grateful.
If you are frustrated, confused or otherwise bothered by a change, it’s normal, but staying there is not good for you. Get yourself to curious and see what new information you can let in to give you a healthier perspective.
MINDSET: With curiosity comes possibility, if you believe.
So, let’s say you get yourself to curious and you still seeing nothing outside our metaphorical elevator. What’s going on?
It’s probably got something to do you with your mindset; the potential limited beliefs you are holding on to that prevent you from seeing the possibilities right in front of you.
The concept of growth and fixed mindsets was coined by psychologist Carol Dweck in her 2006 book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
According to Dweck, “challenging situations can be catastrophic for those with fixed mindsets because of the implication that if they don’t already have the skills or intelligence to complete a task, there’s no chance of improvement.”
The secret here is to acknowledge what limiting belief or beliefs you are holding on to about the situation or even the people involved in the situation, and free yourself of it…even if just for the moment to see what ideas open up for you. See and acknowledge your inner critic, inner nay-sayer, or any other voices that are feeding you scary or negative information, and being willing to take small steps to quiet them.
MOVE: Flow through and away from discomfort, stress, conflict to creative problem solving and resolution.
Okay, you’ve made it to curious and you’ve acknowledged some thoughts you have that are limiting, you are even willing to try some new habits to move forward, but what are they? Here are some tips that come from the study of Cognitive Flexibility that can help you shift your thinking to healthier, more productive thoughts
Practice Self-Talk
- Say: I am breathing in. I am breathing out (this came from my fabulous Yoga instructor, Jennifer)
- Ask yourself: What am I feeling and why?
- Ask yourself: What can I learn? What do I need to know?
Build Empathy Muscles
- Practice listening to understand
- Put yourself in their place
- Assume good intent
Manage Your Reactions
- Mind your comebacks
- Squash gossip
- Watch your face
- Choose your response
I hope you work through one of the busiest months of the year, with grace and as little stress as possible by choosing your Mood, managing your Mindset, and practicing good habits that help you move in the right direction. Pretty soon, you will list resiliency as one of your superpowers.
Let’s talk about it—the first conversation is always free!
Additional Resources:
What Is Cognitive Flexibility, and Why Does It Matter?
A Better World Starts with Better Conversation
5 Best and Most Powerful Practices on how To Not Be Bothered by Things
Building Resilience” How to Thrive in the Face of Life’s Challenges
